Daughter, Look At Me!

   God is holy and just, but He is good and oh so sweet! It's amazing how much more I see God working after I write down exactly what He is teaching me, and I left it at the feet of Jesus.
   We are all sick with colds. When I am not physically feeling well, I typically struggle spiritually too. Yesterday, I wasn't trying to be strong. I was very transparent with my family to where I was spiritually. Sadly, that set the mood, and soon we were all pretty crabby. The awesome thing with Jesus and grace is I don't have to hide. I know everyone else in my family struggles with the same thing, so we could talk openly about it. We were very eager to repent and move on.
   The girls were in trouble, so I told them to sit on the couch and wait for me so we could talk about it. Kaia fell asleep right away, so that left a great opportunity to have a heart-to-heart talk with Tess. I was able to call her out, but then I shared how much I struggled as a mom. I want her to know who I am as well, and why I need Jesus. She was absolutely heartbroken to hear how much I struggled. Like her little hero image of mom just shattered into a million pieces. I had no idea how much she looked up to me; she doesn't let me see that too often. It was a really precious moment. As we were discussing how much sin weighs down on us, she looked away and saw a small toy bowling ball that was angled just right to look like creepy eyes. She immediately got scared, and couldn't focus anymore. My natural reaction was to say, don't look at it, just look at me, but the Spirit took it to another level. Immediately the scene shifted to Moses in the wilderness, as the Israelites were laying there dying, he lifted up the serpent and told them to look at it. All they had to do was look, and they would live. It's amazing to me that if someone was lying there in so much pain, knowing they would die, that they would be so stubborn not to look. But it happened. People died because they wouldn't look. Numbers 21:7 John 3:14,15 "And as Moses lifted up the serpent in the wilderness, even so must the Son of man be lifted up: That whosoever believes in him should not perish, but have everlasting life."

The creepy eyes represented sin and this world. I held my arm up. She was laying on my lap, and I told her to turn over, turn her back on the creepy eyes (sin) and keep her eyes on my arm (Jesus). It's amazing how much the creepy eyes intrigued her. She understood the concept, and she Wanted to stop looking at the sin, and look at Jesus. But for some reason, it had a hold on her. She turned to me initially, but then she went back and tried to do it her own way. She held up her hand to make an X over it. But she was still looking. Then she put a basket over it, so she couldn't see it anymore. Wow, isn't that exactly what we do with sin? We shame it. We talk about how wrong and bad it is, all the while we are still so drawn to it. We try to hide it. Pretend that it's not there. Pretend that we don't struggle. But it's still there, and more dangerous than ever. When we told her to take the basket off, she said, "What if I get a hundred blankets, then I can't see it anymore!" Bigger and better only gets more deceptive and more dangerous. It's still living a lie, and it's not going to work. Sin is still there. Jesus still sees it  even if it's covered up. Once the sin (creepy eyes) was exposed, and she was laying on my lap again, that's when we lost her. She kept staring at it, and said, "It's actually kinda cute! Mom, it's soo cute!" Wow, that again is exactly what happens once we get used to sin. We get comfortable with it, and it actually becomes enjoyable and attractive. Throughout this time, I kept telling her, turn your back on sin, and look unto Jesus. That's salvation! All you have to do is keep your eyes on Jesus! If I couldn't see what she was doing, if I only heard what she was saying, I would have thought that she turned her back on sin, and she was looking at Jesus. She deceived herself and tried to deceive me too. As Christians, in our Christian circles, isn't that exactly what we do? We shame our sin, we hide our sin, and then we lie to ourselves and to others about how we have repented and how Jesus is our Savior. True salvation, isn't afraid to admit the sin. The sin is exposed. It's out in the light. It's not going away. In fact, Jesus said the evil is only going to get bigger.
   2 Timothy 3:12-14 "Yea, and all that will live godly in Christ Jesus shall suffer persecution. But evil men and seducers shall wax worse and worse, deceiving, and being deceived. But continue thou in the things which you have learned and have been assured of, knowing of whom you have learned them." Imagine your back is turned to the creepy eyes, and your eyes are fixed on Jesus. Imagine the evil creepy eyes growing bigger and bigger, scarier and more evil, So much that you can feel the evil breath on your neck. Don't be tempted to look back. Keep your eyes fixed on Jesus. If you look back, you're going to be scared and lose faith, and be swallowed up by the evil. Remember Lot's wife.
   Luke 17:26-33 "And as it was in the days of Noah, so shall it be also in the days of the Son of man. They did eat, they drank, they married wives, they were given in marriage, until the day that Noah entered into the ark, and the flood came, and destroyed them all. Likewise also as it was in the days of Lot; they did eat, they drank, they bought, they sold, they planted, they built; But the same day that Lot went out of Sodom it rained fire and brimstone from heaven, and destroyed them all. Even thus shall it be in the day when the Son of man is revealed. In that day, he which shall be upon the housetop, and his stuff in the house, let him not come down to take it away: and he that is in the field, let him likewise not return back. Remember Lot's wife. Whosoever shall seek to save his life shall loose it; and whosoever shall lose his life shall preserve it." What happened to Lot's wife? Genesis 19:26 "But his wife looked back from behind him, and she became a pillar of salt."
   2 Timothy 3:1 "This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come." I don't know if you have seen the news headlines lately, or if you don't need to read it because you're living in it. But the days are quickly moving from rough times to perilous times. Those who are following Jesus know that He is coming back for His own. Followers disagree When exactly He is returning, but we can all agree that we need to keep our eyes focused on Him, and not of this world until we do see Him face to face. But it is a worthy discussion of when exactly He is coming back. I always believed that Christians were going to "fly away" before the great tribulation comes. But when studying the plain text, and matching passages together, I had to come to a different conclusion. Don't worry, I'm not going to go into a major Bible study, and I don't expect you to come to the same conclusion that I have. But I am convicted that as followers of Jesus, we should be prepared to go all the way for Jesus. I am going to assume that you know generally speaking of what is prophesied in the Bible regarding end times. Basically, the world is going to be an incredibly scary place. Crimes will run rampant. Natural disasters will be often and significant. There will be wars and ruins. The entire world will go into an emergency crisis and hysteria. Then a charismatic world leader will rise up and promise world peace and prosperity. Many will flock to him, support him and worship him. "So much that if it were possible, even the very elect would be deceived." Matthew 24:24. I mean, the world has been so bad already, that many are crying for world peace. It's in the heart of all of us. "For we know that the whole creation groans and travails in pain together until now." Romans 8:22. It will be so tempting to follow someone who promises to rebuild and restore. Isaiah 9:10 "The bricks are fallen down, but we will build with hewn stones: the sycomores are cut down, but we will change them into cedars."
   What would happen if you thought this couldn't possibly be the tribulation because you weren't raptured yet? What if you never entertained the possibility of going through the tribulation because you were sure that you would fly away before it started? But what if you weren't raptured; the world is in hysteria (is that really too hard to imagine that happening quickly?) What if a leader came on the scene right now to promise to set the world back in order? Would that make you second guess Jesus' coming? Or would the promise of world peace sound appealing, and would you give him a chance?
   But what if you weren't raptured before the anti-Christ comes on the scene? Would you be shaking out of fear for the evil that is growing larger and breathing down your neck? Would you stop to stare at the growing the evil, only to be consumed by it, or would you keep your eyes steadily fixed on Jesus, even when threats scream in your ear, even at your hour of betrayal and execution? Philippians 3:10 That I may know him, and the power of his resurrection, and the fellowship of his sufferings, being made conformable unto his death." Can you imagine the intense fellowship with Jesus when we suffer like Him? Would you look into the eyes of Jesus at that moment, with sweat pouring off your face, and say, "I love you, Jesus, Thank you for what you did for me, a sinner, this is so painful, but you are worth every second. Jesus, I understand how you stood all alone when everyone else betrayed you. I understand your suffering now. I understand how you didn't want to go through this, but you did out of love for me." Philippians 3:10 That I may know him, and the power of his resurrection, and the fellowship of his sufferings, being made conformable unto his death."
   Or does that scare you enough not to follow Him anymore?
   Maybe Jesus will return before the tribulation comes. Maybe Jesus will return before persecution comes to America. Maybe Jesus won't return until He comes as King. Maybe Jesus will return when you're still distracted by this world and what it has to offer. While many followers of Jesus disagree on exactly When He is returning, wouldn't you rather be prepared to go all the way instead of risking being deceived and lose your soul?
   Like my sweet daughter, turn your back on the evil, and keep your eyes fixed on Jesus. It's going to get bigger and scarier, but don't look back. Remember Lot's wife.
   Jesus is coming for his virgin bride. Will He find you allured by someone or something else or will He find you with your eyes locked on His?

 

The Quest for the Heart of My Kids

   When I look back at my childhood, I remember dreaming it away in hopes of having my own children someday. I had motherhood all figured out; it was simply teaching the Bible to the heart of the next generation. Fast forward to one week after I found out I was going to be a mom, we went back to the beach where we were engaged exactly one year before (yes, we had a honeymoon baby!) I was still so dreamy, and thought I was completely ready for it.....once I got my head out of the toilet. My heavenly dreams slapped me in the face with that first wave of nausea. Looking at Anne Geddes photography was the only thing that got me through those dark days of being debilitated, praying I wouldn't have to resort to a PICC line. So quickly I forgot my dream of motherhood was for the kingdom of God.

   Once she was born, all my plans went out the window. I had no idea what I was doing; we were surviving on love, and that's it. Besides, how can I teach the newborn about the Bible? We just needed to focus on getting through the next feeding. She won't need another bath until next week, right?

   A year and half later, I finally got comfortable with this mommy thing. My very active and sweet toddler was a dream come true. How does the Bible apply to this stage? I had no idea...."Tessie, don't touch that!" Ya, that's as far as I could think. Oh, she was so cute! Her little voice melted my heart every time.

Then along came Kaia. Quite honestly, it was during this point that the Lord started breaking down my religious heart. I felt the most helpless during these months. This is when Tess started showing behavioral characteristics that pointed to the spectrum. I knew biblical principles to apply to parenting, but that left me more bewildered. This is when I first threw my hands up in the air so confused as to what my response should be during tender and helpless moments. We remained in this state for a long time. We just didn't know how to respond. We gave it our best shot with every ounce of dedication. We approached it from every angle we knew how. 

We were finally able to simplify how to handle her. We recognized triggers, and figured out the difference between being naughty and what were spectrum issues. I was again debilitated with pregnancy, isolated and depressed with two very high strung toddlers. God was starting to open my eyes to true salvation. I was searching, and taught Tess what I was learning. If it weren't for this, I would've gone in despair. 

Just when we thought we got it semi-under control, we took a nose dive. Adjusting to a move and a new baby made matters worse. Her behavior spiraled out of control, and left me angry and bitter. I had enough and I lost all hope. My vision of motherhood was dark and ugly. I didn't know why God gave me these three beautiful kids only for me to mess them up. We were a complete mess. And even there, God gave love and grace. 

Then God reached down and intervened, and everything changed. The demons that plagued our house left the instant Jesus entered our home. We were still dealing with some issues, but she finally responded to our guidance again (a remarkable change). This was the beginning of my freedom from religion to freedom in Christ. I spent months reading the Bible with new eyes, as if I were reading it for the first time. Sitting at the feet of the Holy Spirit as He teaches from the Word of God is the most beautiful place I could be. It became apparent ,quickly, how much my view was off before. So for the last few months, my vision of motherhood was I am not Super Mom, but my kids need to know I have a Super God. I was still slightly confused as to exactly how that played out in daily living. The majority of our days consisted of waving bye to daddy on the porch as he leaves for work, breakfast, netflix or playtime for the kids while mommy tends to all the morning tasks. Our afternoons are filled with eating, playing outside, homeschool, reading, coloring, quiet time and eating. My mind has been fixed on the gospel and the kingdom while attending to the busyness of taking care of three small kids and three needy dogs. Because I have been in a state of learning to get where my heart needs to be, I have been neglecting the spiritual nurturing of my kids. God is so gentle and just, He deals with us one thing at a time. I can show pictures on Facebook of what I did with the kids during the day (you betcha I love everything we do together!), but I still wasn't fully there with them, I was trying to be at the feet of Jesus while staying active with my kids. In the midst of all of it, I lost my vision for the calling where I have the most influence: motherhood.

    Somewhere along the line, I got disconnected with them. Maybe some would blame it on being too busy, or having too many animals and kids, or maybe I'm on my phone too much. Those are all factors. But the truth of the matter is, my heart has been seized by the palm of Jesus. I am right where I need to be. This is all part of their story as well; their hearts being molded. I can trust Him with their hearts as I have trusted Him with mine. 

So this week, God gently revealed to me what my vision should be for my interaction with my kids. 

You mamas know the moments I'm talking about. The fighting moments. The crying moments. The maddening moments. The sweet and tender, freezing-time moments.

Jesus. Gospel. Grace. 

I know, so simple, why didn't I think of that before? 

I did know that before, but I was so incompetent. I did jump on opportunities that I could clearly recognize, but those were fewer than I'd like to admit. If anything, I could understand how Jesus, Gospel and Grace applied to me, but I had no idea how to apply it to my kids. 

Then I got this spiritual "aha" moment listening to the sermon at church. Children's hearts are the same as the hearts of men and women. We all have the same sinful nature. The same way I apply the gospel and repentance to my heart is the same way I need to pass that on to my kids' hearts. Once I recognize that, I can be ready to interact with them.

Most of the time I feel as if kids speak a different language. Their interests are so different than mine. Their energy and passions are so different than mine. But the barrier is taken down when I realize we can relate because we have the same human nature. Treating them with respect as people. I believed this before, but it's easy to get caught up in the daily tasks of taking care of everyone, and forget the most basic of all. 

Now when I hear screaming or sobbing I can approach it as, what if I were her? What would the Spirit say to me about Jesus, gospel, repentance and grace? Because I'm trusting in the Spirit's slow working on my kids' hearts, I don't have to force them into repentance and believing. My job is to present Jesus and the gospel and an opportunity for repentance and grace. My job is Not to get them to believe; instead my job is to pray a work of God upon them. I do not hold the keys to my kids' souls. 

The religion that I come from, the right way to parent is to make sure the kids are in church and in every kid program (which includes crafts, games, puppets, Bible story). Pray that they will accept Jesus into their hearts; rejoice when the kids say a prayer of repentance and their souls are forever sealed in heaven. Celebrate when the kids obey in baptism, or dedicate their lives to Christ.

The Jesus of the Bible does not fit into a religious box.

He takes it much deeper than most of us are comfortable with. I'm still not sure if I'm comfortable with how far He wants to take me. 

I know, I just offended alot of you.

Friends, I do not take the issue of child salvation lightly. If you could see me right now, I'm shaking over the spiritual battle that is taking place. This is an issue that most of you, my friends, are most likely not willing to go. I wasn't planning on going here, but it's where God led me.

Being a mom, having a relationship with my kids, interacting with their hearts, the very essence of who they are, does not have to scare me. They are people with the same human nature that I have. They struggle with their emotions the same way that I struggle with mine. Each one of them has their own personal story of Jesus reaching down and intervening on their behalf. They might fight it. They might try to run away. They might flat out reject Him. That's between them and God. My job as a mother is to walk in the Spirit, and not fulfill the lusts of the flesh. My job is to be the light of Jesus for them, planting seeds in their hearts. My job is to give them opportunities to repent and believe. My job is to pray pray pray fervently for my kids. Any work of God is a result of prayer. But I can leave the matter at the feet of Jesus. The God that I serve, the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, Elohim, the Great Creator, He's got this. 

Every personality adds a different dynamic to each family. In my household, we are consisted of Jace, Wren, Tess, Kaia, Jasper and dogs who test our patience, Brody, Max and Felix. Jace has his own personality, background, struggle, and the way God reached down to grab his heart was done differently than how God dealt with me. Rest assured, my children's hearts are starting to bud and God with deal with them differently just like He has dealt differently with all of us. The means to salvation and "walking worthy" (Ephesians 4:1) of His love is the same, and never changing. Jesus, Gospel. Repentance. Grace. 

Christian mama, your main job is not to manage the household. Wait, let me say that again, my dear friend, your main job is Not to manage the household! Your main job is to dwell in the house of the Lord forever, and to sit at His feet. Your main job is to advance the kingdom of God. Your main job is the be the light of Jesus, the salt of your home (Matthew 5:13). Your influence anywhere else does not compare to the influence you have on your kids. No amount of blogging, Facebooking, phonecalling, emailing, visiting, church attending, and serving is going to compare to the influence you have on your kids. But you can't be the light and salt you need to be until your heart is sitting at the feet of Jesus, like Mary (Luke 10:39). I'm speaking to myself. This is my greatest struggle. My greatest passion. My greatest desire. 

By doing so, we are treading on dangerous waters. There's no rafts. There's nothing to hold onto except looking into the eyes of Jesus; trusting. Kinda like Peter walking on water (Matthew 14:24-33). "The just shall live by FAITH" (Hebrews 10:38) not religious programs. "The just shall live by Faith"  not by attending church. "The just shall live by FAITH" not by a past religious experience. 

I'm not saying that your child shouldn't get baptized or be dedicated to the Lord. I'm saying, be careful about focusing on the experiences instead of meeting your child where he's at. If you're already doing that, may this be an encouragement for you. 

Trust God with your heart. Trust God with your kids' hearts. Walk in the Spirit; live by Faith.  

Who God is, and who I need to Be

   Every time I sit down to start typing out a new post, I type "Wow, the Lord has been teaching me so much, where do I begin?" But that's exactly how I feel. I am always overwhelmed by His grace, goodness and gentleness in my life. I could not begin to write all that has happened in my heart since last time I wrote.

But I do know that God is great, God is glorious, God is good, and God is gracious (thank you, Sub Terra Church!). 

   When I was growing up, I knew all the great Bible stories of the Old Testament. Wow, what an incredible and powerful God we serve! But then when I grew up, I was taught, but He doesn't do those types of miracles anymore. He works differently now. Talk about deflating my image of God. But as I get closer to God, as I read the Scriptures, understanding as the Spirit reveals, I see, the God of the Old Testament is still the same God in the New Testament that I worship today. He is still so powerful and holy, yet tender and good. So the past week or so, I've been starting off my prayers to the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. That just helps me understand who it is I'm talking to. That puts it into such perspective for me that my God transcends generations and culture. 

   Funny thing happened when my heart was in tune to Who I was praying to. I have seen God answer prayer this week. The most beautiful was the prayer of my daughter. She wanted a pink ring because some of her friends have pink rings and she didn't have one. I told her, pray about it, and see if Jesus wants you to have one. So she prayed right there. We went to church, and at church there was a girl who made rubber band bracelets, and made one into a pink ring for my daughter! She also received a bracelet, as well as her sister did! I had tears in my eyes! That was such a sweet moment when we got home to talk with her about how much Jesus loves us, and He gives us More than we ask or think! I thought of my own prayers, and my own lack of faith that Jesus loves me like that. No, this was a beautiful faith building moment. He has answered a few of my prayers also this week, in ways so creative, and so quick, I was in awe. Yes, my God is so good to me! So precious. He is so desirable. 

   Another big focus this week was about faithfulness. Jesus is the best giver, but He is also the best Lover. 

  Why would we seek love from another source other than Him? I have been tempted this week, not in big things to some, but the temptation was great for me. One of my prayers was that the Lord would reveal the filth in my heart. I don't want to carry it around. So, I was tempted in ways that possibly were even good things, but it would have taken me away from the God I love. In those temptations, I saw how weak my flesh was, and how prone I am to wander away from Him. But I also saw how Jesus fought for me, and I can say that Jesus got the victory! Praise God!
   I was listening to the book of John on audio, the words Jesus spoke in chapter 17  about how Jesus focused on praying for His followers, that they would be faithful. That hit me home. I do pray for more people to know the Jesus of the Scriptures, but  haven't spent  too much time praying that my friends would be faithful. But then that got me into a deeper study about God's plan for His people to be faithful to Him. Wow. This was explosive. It really is a great theme in the entire Scriptures. I read Jeremiah 1 and 2; I would encourage you to read through these chapters; it's too long to write out here. Oh, the.God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob is a beautiful Lover. We are so soon shaken away from Him, and He's left there wondering, what did I do? I've broken your chains, I've given you freedom, and you still desire love somewhere else? He longs for love in return. But I also saw that faithfulness to Him is so important that He destroyed Northern Israel because of their unfaithfulness. Do not think for a moment that we can get away with the same sin unharmed. The God of the Old Testament is the same God of the New Testament. Now, despite what some would think, faithfulness to God is not the same as being faithful to church. Yes, church is a big part of following Him, but we don't worship church; we worship God. He desires our hearts, not our outward actions. I believe our greatest spiritual obstacle in America is not the liberal politicians, but the way we worship Churchianity instead of the Christ of Christianity. Our hearts are so quick to seek love somewhere else. Be faithful to Him. I pray you would be faithful. I pray that I would be faithful. This topic of faithfulness is too big of a topic for me to cover completely. For further study, read John 17 and the book of Jeremiah and Matthew. Really, just dig into the Word with an open heart, pray for the Spirit to reveal truth. Our God is beautiful and holy, and He is a jealous God.
   How does this fit into Motherhood? Friends, if you are committed to the God of the Bible, your allegiance is to Jesus Christ first of all. Our hearts are sinful, but Jesus changes us so that our hearts would be changed to walk in fellowship with Him. Our relationship with our kids and those around us is a byproduct of our encounter with Jesus. Walking in the Spirit, whatever we do with our home will last for eternity. Our flesh cannot please God, even if we have the right motives. The only way our home will be what it's supposed to be is when we are in fellowship with Jesus, walking in the Spirit, serving out of love. 1 Corinthians 13.
   So, before we see what needs to be done in our home, we need to see who we need to be in Jesus.

Moms Need to Breathe Prayer

   Nothing is so sweet to me as the topic of prayer. 

   I grew up talking to God. I had prayer time after I read my Bible every day. Asked God to help me be good, and prayed for everyone that was sick that I could think of, and of course prayer got me through geometry class. Thank you, Mr. Kingsley, for that curve! 

   But prayer was more like work to me, and I felt like I was talking to myself. Because I was lazy, I fell back on praying right then and there when a request would come to mind. And suddenly I didn't spend any time laboring in prayer over anything. I couldn't remember exactly any specific time that I prayed, but I know I did. 

   Then I repented of my sin, and fell in love with Jesus. 

   There has been no greater change in my life than my prayer and Bible reading. I cannot get enough. That's really not an exaggeration. No matter what I'm doing, no matter who I am with, I would much rather be spending that time with Jesus alone, talking with Him in the throne room, and reading His love letter to me. It's almost a bit ridiculous. One day a couple weeks ago, I felt this urgency that I needed to get alone on my knees and intercede for some people. Yet, I couldn't neglect my kids. I tried to get down on my knees while they were playing around me, but that didn't really work. I was thrown off all day because I just wanted to get alone to pray my heart out. Thankfully, Jace took over for me when he got home so I could have that time. What a sweet husband, and what a sweet Saviour!   

   I don't really know how I could describe prayer, other than liking it to dating. I remember the first time Jace called me. We were on our college Christmas break, and he received a cell phone for Christmas. (I know, we're old) I was his first phone call on his first cell phone. I was the most giddy little girl, and spent the next week talking about it to my best friend. That's when our relationship took off. Staying up late at night (or early in the morning) talking to each other, even if he had to be at work at five in the morning. We didn't want to hang up. We wanted to spend that much time together. That continued right up until we no longer needed phone calls anymore, but we were able to finally be together forever. I've heard this same illustration on prayer before, but I finally get to experience it! 

   I spend all my days breathing prayer. Looking for those opportunities to get a few minutes alone to pray. I look forward to it all day. When I finally do get that chance, I spend a good bit thinking, I don't want to leave here. 

   Don't get me wrong, I love being present with those around me, but none is sweeter than being with Jesus. I know He is with me no matter what I am doing. But that set aside time to focus on the beauty and majesty of God is as great as it gets. 

   Did you know our prayers are so precious to God that He saves them and stores them in bottles, and He is going to use them during the end. Revelation 5:8 "And when he had taken the book, the four beasts and four and twenty elders fell down before the Lamb, having every one of them harps, and golden vials full of odors, which are the prayers of the saints." Revelation 8:3,4 "And another angel came and stood at the altar, having a golden censer; and there was given unto him much incense, that he should offer it with the prayers of all saints upon the golden altar which was before the throne. And the smoke of the incense, which came with the prayers of the saints, ascended up before God out of the angel's hand." I don't know of anything more incredible than Jesus storing our prayers, made possible because of the blood of the Lamb. 

   I believe most Christians would agree that their prayer life is the number one area that isn't as great as it could be. I know I used to completely neglect prayer until something major was happening in my life, then I would just utter "Please, God!" all day. But then I realized that being a Christian isn't about living your life with God on your side; it's about being about the Father's business (Luke 2:49). Suddenly, my mission became so great that I couldn't live without prayer. Being a follower of Jesus, is to be on an extraordinary mission to advance the Kingdom of God. Only God can encourage. Only God can open hearts. Only God can save. I can't do any of those things. If that's the kind of stuff that is my number one focus, then I need prayer. I need to breathe prayer. 

   I used to neglect prayer for my mothering. My day isn't complicated. My biggest problem is staying calm and not get stressed in the crazy moments. But when I started viewing motherhood as advancing the kingdom instead of being a household manager, suddenly, prayer became my oxygen. 

  I don't always pray through a list of people I'm praying for. Mostly, my prayer time is to get myself aligned with Him. I pray to vent about things I'm worried about. I get praying and all of a sudden I start praying through a secret area of my life that I didn't even realize was an issue. I pray to repent. I pray to be filled with the Spirit. Once I am sure there is nothing between me and my Savior, I can then intercede for those I love.

  I cannot waste my day by Not being filled with the Spirit. My flesh is way too quick tempered, way too distracted, way too selfish to advance the Kingdom inside and outside my home. That's why I need prayer every breath I take. And hey, it's pretty sweet knowing those prayers go from my heart to the throne room of grace, to being stored in a bottle, to be brought out again to fulfill all things.